Is THIS holding you back from weight loss?

When perimenopause came knocking at my door a few years ago, I wasn’t very excited about letting it in. Because all of a sudden, I didn’t really like my body anymore.

When I was younger, it was so easy to love my body. But as soon as I hit my fifties, I just constantly found reasons to pick it apart.

And when I decided to lose some menopausal weight, I realized just how negative my mindset had gotten.

I knew I didn’t need to just “think positive thoughts” – that’s not how weight loss or mindset works. So I started by recognizing which of my thoughts were helping me lose weight and which of them weren’t.

And there’s a simple way to do that with something that I call the Two-Step Tool.

Step One is to find your thoughts, and Step Two is to decide if they’re helpful.

I actually wrote an entire book about this mindset tool, called Mind Over Menopause, which is coming out next month. You can preorder a copy from your favorite retailer here:

In it, I tell the whole story of how I lost weight (and you can, too!) by using the Two-Step Tool to find my unhelpful thoughts about my weight, my body, what I was eating, and how much I was exercising, in order to break out of that negative mindset and step into my middle age and beyond, feeling amazing.

Today’s video is the first in a short series – coming out over the next few weeks – where I’ll be sharing more with you about the Two-Step Tool and how you can use it to lose weight and love your menopausal body. 🌸


Join our update list today!

Posted in


  1. Walking with Mellow! on May 22, 2023 at 11:11 am

    Never thought of that! Thank you so much for the video!

  2. Stephanie C on May 22, 2023 at 11:27 am


  3. Tammy Bozza on May 22, 2023 at 11:34 am

    Totally needed this reminder this morning! Thank you, Pahla. 💜

  4. Tracy Bakkelokken on May 22, 2023 at 11:54 am

    WOW this was a booster I needed today—thank you, Pahla! 🙏🏻🌸💜 My body-love has been very low, since hitting 50 nearly six months ago, and the changes have been happening thick and (seemingly) fast. So thankful for your 5-0 Method ans this two-step approach. Sometimes my brain fog has been enough to deal with, the negative self-talk just adds more clutter I don’t need. 😂 A lot of releasing at this stage of life, physical clutter, but also mind-clutter!

  5. Diane English on May 22, 2023 at 12:16 pm

    I so needed to hear this! It’s like you were reading my mind. . .😉. Can’t wait for the other videos you mentioned.

  6. Loren spath on May 22, 2023 at 1:02 pm

    Thanks Pahla! You look great! You have nothing to worry about!

  7. chocolatecity2 on May 22, 2023 at 1:19 pm

    You only gained 10 lbs you’re genetically lucky. I’ve been struggling with 50 lbs it’s the heaviest I’ve been in my life, and I’ve been using My Fitness Pal, weighing everything, exercises….. for the last five years and it’s not working out.
    Only if I eat less than 1,000 cals but then I struggle with hypoglycemia.

    • Jen Anderson on May 22, 2023 at 6:10 pm

      Thank you for this. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. 😢

  8. Barbie c on May 22, 2023 at 1:45 pm

    Already preordered my copy!❤❤❤

  9. Valerie Richter on May 22, 2023 at 2:28 pm

    Love your pink top. Where did you get it?

  10. Robin Jacobs on May 22, 2023 at 4:27 pm

    Thank you!!!!!!

  11. Ercokat on May 22, 2023 at 10:39 pm

    I must know who the beagle in the frame (on the shelf) is???

    • Pahla B, Weight Loss Coach for Women over 50 on May 23, 2023 at 1:03 am

      That’s our first dog, Daisy! 🌼 She’s been gone a long time. She was literally just the naughtiest dog, but we loved her. Lol!

  12. NONI'S BIG HUGS on May 22, 2023 at 11:17 pm

    Pahla – love the eyelashes :)….😊Congratulations on your book! Can’t wait to read it! You’re my inspiration…thank you for being there for us🥰

  13. Pheona on May 23, 2023 at 12:01 am

    I basically have to incorporate this into every single part of my life. I am horrible to myself.

  14. Jeannette Antry on May 23, 2023 at 3:15 pm

    I have seen a number of your videos. Your story is very motivating and inspiring. I am in my 60’s and have felt a lot of what you are dealing with, including the extra pounds and negative thoughts. I topped out about 9 pounds more than my best weight. I work out pretty regularly and work at eating healthy and limiting my calories. I stopped eating sugar and high carbs last month. I did start to drop a pound or two on the keto diet.

    But your video on counting calories reminded me that I have not been actually counting my calories. I have done this precisely, in the past and it works. I followed your calorie intake suggestions and have been doing it for a few weeks now. And I have stayed primarily on the keto and low carb diet. With little to no sugar. At first it was daunting, I didn’t feel better on the keto diet. I have high blood pressure and an anxiety problem that occurs every so often when I get stressed. This effects my heart, and it speeds up, responding to the stress hormones.

    But once I figured out how to stop that and divide up my calories and make sure I am eating enough to live my life, my bp is coming down and my heart is doing great. And my anxiety is sparse. I feel so much better without all the extra around my middle and on my hips. You made a huge difference for me today. I am down almost to my target weight. And that is so motivating to keep going and change my lifestyle to reflect the actual needs of my aging body. Thanks Paula. You are a great weight loss coach.

Leave a Comment

Never miss another post...

Subscribe to

Weight Loss

Tips Now!

We always respect your privacy